First, let’s bring out our lovely Bachelorettes!
Bachelorette #1 has obviously had some experience with online dating sites. She’s had enough of wasting her time with losers, scumbags, and almost-rans. Her profile leaves no openings for the wrong fish to get caught in her net:
We probably won't be a match if the following applies to you. I'm Just saying...
1. You're married
2. Wear saggy pants
3. Missing your front teeth
4. Have to report to your parole officer or probation officer
6. Refer to all your exes as baby mommas
7. You have a crack pipe collection
8. Take lithium daily because your cheese is sliding off your cracker
9. Your middle name is associated with Summer's Eve
It’s not that she’s picky, per se; but she does want to make it clear that she has a particular man in mind, or not in mind. You can’t blame her. She’s obviously had enough dates with men with the above, ah, qualities, that she feels that it’s better to just put it all on the table up front.
Looks a little precarious there;
I wouldn’t try it.
WARNING - I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN WHO IS UNDER 6 FT TALL. Therefore, I will not respond to ANY messages if you are under 6 ft tall.
Now, that may seem a little harsh; but, boys, it’s better to know going in than being kicked in the pants by an Amazon – and her Amazon sisters.
And, finally, Bachelorette #3, who seems to be a bit confused by the whole concept of on-line dating:
I'm not currently seeking to date anyone on here.
Ohhhhhkaaayy then! What else is there to talk about? Her perfect date includes places where she doesn’t want to meet you and things she doesn’t want to do.
So there you have it, Gentlemen. Three charming ladies with very specific men in mind. Do you measure up? What will it take to get a date tonight?
May your muse be just around the corner
and put a smile upon your face.
- Mona L.